


come tell me I'm wrong (and please don't be gone)

by alteirkay



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, F/M, Female Hange Zoë, I'm Sorry, Major character death - Freeform, Nothing too explicit, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 132: Wings of Freedom Spoilers, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Spoilers, blame isayama not me, i had to write something i am hurt too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27206971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alteirkay/pseuds/alteirkay
Summary: “We are not going to survive this war,” he says to her. Wind blowing his hair slightly, the shades of the late night and early morning mixed on the horizon. Stars are nowhere to be seen even on top of the walls. They should be closer to the sky, but they are not.Not at all.“Which war are you talking about?” she asks back. One knee propped up and an elbow rests on top of it. The wind blows her hair too. Her green cloak rustles, the sign on her back makes itself visible. The Wings of Freedom.What a fucking lie.
Relationships: Levi/Hange Zoë
Comments: 13
Kudos: 94





	come tell me I'm wrong (and please don't be gone)

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song "Gone" by Trafton.  
> 

“We are not going to survive this war,” he says to her. Wind blowing his hair slightly, the shades of the late-night and early morning mixed on the horizon. Stars are nowhere to be seen even on top of the walls. They should be closer to the sky, but they are not.

Not at all.

“Which war are you talking about?” she asks back. One knee propped up and an elbow rests on top of it. The wind blows her hair too. Her green cloak rustles, the sign on her back makes itself visible. _The Wings of Freedom._

What a fucking lie.

“I don’t know which one. But at last in one of them we will die,” he says matter of factly. His voice is steady, flat and devoid of emotions. As it always is.

“Now you are being such a pessimist,” she says smiling a little. “There is always a chance to live.”

Levi knows she is lying. Even before the words leave her mouth. He makes no remark on it though. Hange has the nature of the sun. She likes to shine, to warm and reflect her light through the gloomy clouds and the freezing snow.

“I am just being realistic,” he says and looks at the woods ahead of them.

“You and Erwin never get tired of being realistic, man it must be hard.” Her tone is cheerful now. He hates it because it makes him want to look at her. To see the curves of her lips and how they spread to display a genuine smile. How she manages to shine bright even in the darkest of nights is beyond him, yet he always, always finds himself craving for that light. Just to catch a glimpse of it. Just to remind himself that in this cruel world, where everything is the darkest shade of black and red, someone like her exists. Or rather, she is strong enough to be able to exist as she is.

“You should live,” he finds himself saying. Unconsciously maybe. But the words are out in the air before he is able to stop them. He feels no regret.

“Eh?” She asks, appearing confused. “What is that all of a sudden?”

He looks away rather than answering. Deep inside he feels relieved at the words that left his mouth uncontrollably. He wonders now for how long exactly he has wanted to tell her them. His mind travels back to their first meeting. The first time he had seen her smile blindingly bright. _That must be it_ , he thinks.

Beside him, Hange sighs defeated. She knows Levi will talk no further about this matter. The long years of knowing each other come with habits and some tolerance after all.

“Well, in that case, you should live too, grumpy.” When he looks at her with bewilderment slightly visible on his face she smiles and even laughs a little. “It wouldn’t be fun to live alone, you know. I will most certainly need company or else I would be bored to death then there would be no point on me surviving. You see?”

Levi snorts while she grins and feels his features relax.

The first rays of the sun begin to brighten the sky and he knows that these are all hollow words and that there is no meaning, no sign of reality behind them.

He _knows_ yet despite he nods too.

* * *

So many soldiers along with Erwin and Moblit die the next day.

He and Hange survive.

* * *

“Hange,” he whispers in her ear. She grips his shoulders tight, her nails probably leaving long red trails of scars. She says his name over and over again.

Her face is wet when he collapses on top of her, out of breath. She kisses his forehead. Fingers brushing his cheek.

He remembers his own words all those months ago. He remembers the dead comrades and he remembers her smile which he very barely sees nowadays. Levi rolls on her back and pulls her to his chest. He wipes the tears from her face. Levi does not know any reason for her to cry and then again, the times she lets herself cry are so rare, so he doesn’t comment on it.

Long after their breaths return to normal, and the night has settled for good, Hange shifts and straightens up. She holds the sheet near her chin. Levi thinks it is more because of the cold than the shame.

“You are leaving?” He asks while his fingers trace a scar on her back.

“Yeah, I should go.” She sounds weary. Becoming a commander had been harder and more tiring than she had expected. “Duty waits.”

“Can’t it wait for another hour?” His fingers travel up and down on her back. He feels her muscles shift under her touch. A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips.

Hange gives him an amused look from her shoulder and raises a brow. “You’ll be suspended for taking the commander off duty by seduction.”

He snorts and leans in to kiss the scar he had traced with his fingers earlier. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,” he murmurs.

He hears her sigh. “Seriously, who would’ve known the famous Levi Ackerman was such a tease?” She turns and leans back, hovering above Levi with a smile on her face matching his own.

“No one but you,” he responds.

She grins at that. “I am flattered.”

“You should be.”

The sound of her laughter rings in his ears and he catches it with his lips.

* * *

Levi doesn’t remember the last time he has felt this much pain.

His face, his chest, his fingers and legs all of them burn with a fire that consumes him from inside. He wakes and sleeps again. Unaware of the world around him. He feels gentle and steady hands stitching the wounds on his face. He feels warm fingers caressing his cheek, pushing his hair back. Distantly he hears the sound of fire and the smell of the burnt woods.

Finally, his conscious sweeps back but even as small a gesture as opening his only one eye requires strength. So, he keeps it close and hears someone talking to him. Words come like he is underwater. They are blurry and distant at first, but he slowly starts to catch them more clearly.

“I’d rather the two of us just live here,” she says, and he knows immediately that it is Hange. “Right, Levi?”

Her question stays unanswered, but it is not like she has expected an answer in the first place anyway. She spends a few more seconds, just sitting there quietly beside him then she gently wraps his face with some bandages and walks away.

He realizes that not being able to agree with her hurts more than any damned scar that he has.

* * *

“Where is Hange?” He directs his answer to the first living being he sees which happens to be Conny. He looks exhausted and probably wounded as well. But it is the least of his worries now. “Where is she?” He repeats sounding even more grumpy than usual.

“Ah,” Conny appears to be slightly surprised at his demanding tone, but it doesn’t last long. “Commander was helping Pieck. She should be here in a second.”

Relief comes like a crashing wave. He only now realizes how tense his muscles have been all the while he has been waiting for them, for her, to come back alive. He nods stiffly and turns around to sit back in his chair. He feels a pair of eyes watching his movements. Frowning, he looks up to see it is Mikasa, watching him from the wall she is leaning against.

Levi doesn’t spend much time examining her curious expression. “What are you looking at, brat?” He hisses.

She just frowns and looks away.

*

When they finally find some time alone, it is towards midnight.

They are in Levi’s room. Levi sits his back against the wall and Hange is beside him. She is quiet, unusually quiet even when she cares for his wounds and changes the bandages. Levi knows it is because of the sacrifice of Commander Magath. He watches her eye; thinks he has been seeing it full of sorrow lately. He misses the burning fire in her eyes. It is not totally gone, yet it becomes harder and harder to catch it lately.

“Hange,” he starts. He searches for the right words to say as if there are any.

She finishes his work with the bandages. His mouth is open now, her finger touches the newly healing stitch there. “Levi,” she says. “Do you remember what you’ve said to me the day before the Wall Maria mission?”

His mind makes a quick journey back to that day. The day before he has lost his best friend. “Yes,” he says.

She looks at him and something he sees there but cannot name clutches at his stomach and the breath he should’ve taken stays in his throat.

“Forgive me if…” She trails off. Eye leaving him again to look at his chest which is rising and falling so fast that it hurts.

“What?” He asks impatiently. Even though he does know indeed what she is talking about and that there is _nothing_ to forgive. “What do you mean?”

Hange shakes her head and laughs, but it is nothing like how she always does. It is not cheerful, and it is not real.

“Nothing,” she whispers.

Then she kisses him like she wants to stop whatever might come out of her or his mouth that might eventually hurt both of them. They are soldiers, reality is not something they can cast aside. It is a constant, a solid thing in their lives. Levi is aware that every word they had made, and everything that is close to a promise is otiose. They cannot dare to make promises anyway. He should be used to it. He had lost so many friends; he has watched so many of them die in front of him.

But the thought of _her_ of any people…

Levi shivers. Both at the thought and Hange’s hands under his shirt. The kiss becomes insistent. He knows that she uses it as an escape. And lets her do so.

* * *

Levi has always thought that it must be so damn painful to get eaten by a titan. Of course, everyone would think that. Yet it is the fact that there are possibly no words to describe that pain. Even if the ones who are dead were alive Levi does not think they would be able to describe it. What would they say anyway? Like their insides were cutting alive. So what?

So what?

He wonders is it equal to the pain he feels right now. He cannot think about anything that might be closer.

“Hey,” he says successfully without choking. “Four-eyes.”

It is the first time he uses that nickname since she had become the commander. It feels nostalgic and strangely familiar.

“Levi…” Her voice is low but steady. They don’t look at each other. Considering it is most probably the last time he sees her, it is weird. He should. But he cannot.

He cannot.

“You know Levi,” she continues. “It feels like my time has come.”

Levi closes his eye and swallows the like he wants to gulp down the sorrow that is located there. Like he can decrease the severe pain that he feels burning his heart.

“I want to act as cool as possible,” she says, and he hears a slight tremble in her voice. “So, let me go out like this.”

 _You should live,_ he had said to her. _You should live._ Because if there is anyone who deserves to breathe in this fucked up world it is Hange. He had believed that and still believes. But is there any point on living in a world as fucked up as it is? What is there to expect, what is there to look forward, what is there to live for anyway? He has watched the light fade away from her eyes, becoming less and less visible with every passing day. So, what is the point of the sun rising if there is nothing to illuminate?

He opens his eye and looks at her one last time. He lets all the sorrow he feels display in his stare; he shares everything he has grown up to feel for her. He lets her know all of them.

Then lifts his hand up and puts it over her heart and says the only words that he can think of at the moment.

“Dedicate your heart.”

Her eye lights up and he hears her laughter for the last time when she turns away to walk towards her death.

“I’ve never heard you say that before!”

Ironically, as being the last one left alive from his generation, he is having a hard time breathing after he lets her go.


End file.
